Most of us crave true connection, to come across someone to be vulnerable and authentic with us. Someone new that will understand us fully and be able to soothe us when we are fearful. Though once that comes, it could knock us off center with no warning. Confused and unsure in the whirlwind of questioning whats true, we are reminded of the existing shadow self; Not only that we hold that aspect, but the person in front of us has one as well. There is no reflective shimmering brightness, without the dark underbelly. Chances are, these tender shadow selves will find the dance of war simmering beneath our sweet conscious excitements about this lovely new person that fills our hearts with joy. There is a feeling that can barely be felt, sitting and watching, hearing the quiet shuffle of the dance that can be possibly traced as intuition. Most of us have been here with new budding love. The sweet moments in safety that turn fast, pivoting with no way of getting back to the bright calm path you once walked a few moments ago. This new path looking unfamiliar, winding down, deeper you go, the uncharted places of hurt jabbed; the pain expressed in defenses, pushing, pulling, and domineering. These moments are why people close off, write off men, women, dating, and love as a whole. This is an absolute pivotal opportunity for shadow work; if we have the courage to see it. This could be a time where we push away, defend and dig our heels into the coping mechanisms protecting these deep wounds.
We have a choice when our darkness is mirrored back. We can turn away from ourselves and put the fault on the person who has put their finger on our bruised pain, or we can lean into what the trigger is. Leaning into the why with curiosity may feel like taking off all of your armor in the moment of war, laying down and turning your back from the danger that's in front of you, leaving you vulnerable. The real kicker is that the person in front of you is not the danger, but a person who is also in fear of unsafe exposure.
Are we able to soften into love for our selves and the intimate relationships we have? Can we humble ourselves during conflict and lean into surrendering? This may be the only way through
Much Love,
Gabrielle